I’ve realised I’m tired. That I could lay down right here, right now on this sofa and fall asleep at 5.00pm on a Sunday afternoon. Life has been wearing me out lately and apart from the ongoing difficulties I wrote about last week, I’m really not sure why.
Perhaps I just need a little bit of space.
Busyness can be an affliction can’t it. I hear myself constantly saying no I can’t do this because I have to do that … then that and then that. My husband queries it from time to time and I get cross. Yes, I HAVE to do these things, of course I do! But as he often so rightly points out, I pile all this pressure on myself. I make my life one endless to do list:
Finish that quarterly review
Finish watching the live video that goes with it
Read that book to take part in a journaling prompt on another Substack you’ve just joined. But don’t forget to do the prep for that Substack live that’s happening on Monday and in the meantime - write your next post to publish.
Put together a lesson for a demo for a local art group - must be ready by the end of the week!
Finish website updates for my local art group
Get website looking simpler/cleaner - the to do list for this is looooooong
Catch up on the #100 day challenge you set yourself that you’re about a month behind on!
Complete the workbook for the Stu McLaren live course this week
Re-photograph and re-list paintings
Prepare social media posts……. The list goes on and on
BUT I’m supposed to be an artist! Where is the time to paint? What is going on here?
My focus has been scattered. Writing this I can see it’s all too much and I’m overwhelmed with it all. I am missing my painting, the thing I’m supposed to be about. The person who I want to be isn’t who I’m being right now. My creativity is being stifled by my own drive for ….. what?!
I’m striving to be the best artist I can be but the focus has gone awry. Without my stabilising creative focus I feel all at sea and the thing I really need AND really want to do to be that person, isn’t happening.
There are things to be done this week, non-negotiables and then I fly away for a weeks holiday in 7 days time. I can’t wait. By the time I come back home I will be another year older. Let’s see if I can make that a slighter wiser year too. I am determined to come back as the artist that I set out on this journey to be.
Do you suffer from over complicating life? Is it a case of wanting too much? Perhaps not being clear enough on your destination, not focusing on what is actually important? Or something else entirely. Leave a comment and let’s chat.
has set up The Selfish Bookclub (one of my To Do items but one I’m very much looking forward to) with live journaling sessions. I’m hoping this will help me get clearer on what’s actually important.Episode 246 of Art juice with Louise Fletcher and Alice Sheridan talk about making space for creativity and taking breaks to recharge that creative flow. Brilliant listening if you are feeling a little like this too.